Evidences of Mormon
A compilation and review of the claims made by the Book of Mormon compared against non-apologetic data

What do Mormons believe about relationships? - the fact and myth cheat sheet

This is part of the Mormon fact and myth cheat sheet on this website. The main list of Mormon facts and Myths can be found here. This section specifically discusses Mormon belief about relationships.

This is a compilation of facts and myths about Mormon beliefs compiled from comments and other resources. I add things to this list as I run into them so this list has more information on it than I have had time to write about in detail. Some of these can be uncommonly random.

Some of these comments may have been collected from someone that is trying to imply that Mormons won't tell you about these things. This is partially accurate simply because we don't actually believe in many of these things. On a similar note, I have pulled some of this information from several "campaigns" which claim that they just want to help us Mormons realize the error of our ways. However, most of these campaigns are not actually targeted to Mormons. They are targeted to those who are not Mormon and may be curious about what we really believe. In war and politics it is known as a "disinformation" campaign and it's used to keep other people in the dark or doubtful of factual information. If these campaigns were intended to target Mormons, they would talk to us directly, instead of referring to Mormons in the third person as "they," and they would use our real teachings to try and convince us of our error.

You may notice that after the first sentence, these descriptions are written in a way so that anyone can quote them if they need to. The disadvantage to this is that there are some things that get repeated in the explanations more than once. It should be noted that this site is not an official source for Mormon doctrine, so if you're going to quote from this site I would recommend that you point out the sources or link back to this page so readers can verify accurate sources for themselves. I have also bolded some things in each statement to help identify the key points.

Speaking of repeating stuff, this introduction is fairly standard on the other fact and myth pages so you can probably skip it on the next one without missing much.

The Mormon Fact and Myth Cheat Sheet

Link to the main Mormon fact and myth page


Editing and referencing is still an ongoing process for this page.


Mormon belief about relationships


"Mormons believe that marriages and families can last forever":

This is correct

This is true.

Mormons believe that one of the reason for life is to build the foundation for eternal relationships. Mormons believe that families can be sealed together forever; that death does not have to separate husband and wife. That includes spouses to one another and children to their parents.

"Mormon men and women can cheat on their spouse":

This is false

This is false.

Adultery is the greatest of sins a person can commit, with only two exceptions (murder and denying the Holy Ghost).[1] Any person, whether man or woman, if found to be in a sexual relation outside of marriage is subject to church discipline and excommunication; the most serious penalty the Church can impose.[2] To return back to full fellowship in the church the individual would have to remove themselves from the activity and seek repentance. A person who continues to commit adultery or is unrepentant for their previous actions would be excommunicated.

"Mormon men have dominion over women":

This is false

This is false.

Mormon scripture explicitly states that any man who attempts to exercise dominion over another person is in serious violation of God's commandments and gives a very serious warning for doing so. The husband and wife are considered to be equal partners in a marriage, for "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord."

"Mormons believe that women cannot get into Heaven without their husbands permission":

This is false

This is false.

Mormons believe that every person is responsible for their own salvation. They believe that the highest degree of the highest kingdom of Heaven can only be attained by those who are sealed together, but that it is an equal partnership. A man cannot receive it without his wife, and his wife cannot receive it without her husband. If one person of a couple is entitled to this degree and their spouse is not, Mormons believe that Christ will provide a way for the one to receive all that they should.

"Mormons believe that children who die without being baptized are saved":

This is correct

This is true.

Mormons believe that children who pass away before they know right and wrong are saved in the atonement of Christ. They believe that if they die after they understand what is right and wrong they will need the ordinance of baptism done for them, which they believe a way has been provided for those who have not received it.

"Mormons practice polygamy and have many wives":

This is false

This is false.

Mormons believe that marriage is between one man and one woman. Some Mormons practiced polygamy in the 1800's but the church abandoned the practice in 1890. Some members decided to continue the practice but they were either excommunicated or subjected to a disciplinary council as they were discovered. One group decided to continue the practice after they were excommunicated and later formed the FLDS group on the Utah/Arizona border.

"Mormon marry civilly once but then are sealed to multiple wives":

This is false

This is false.

A Mormon, whether male or female, can only be sealed to one living person at any given time. Excommunicated fringe groups that splintered from the Mormon church currently practice this. The members of the TV show 'Sister Wives' originates from one of these groups.

"Mormons believe that polygamy is required in Heaven":

This is false

This is false.

Mormons believe that there were some relationships on earth that were sanctioned of God where the husband had multiple wives, however the majority of them were not. For example Mormons believe that Abraham was rightfully married to both Sarah and Hagar. At this point there is no official doctrine on whether these relationships will continue on this way in the afterlife, however many apostles and prophets have speculated on it. Mormons believe that any sealings that will remain in effect will need to be sorted out before the Final Judgment. As the Book of Mormon condemns plural marriage with the exception of certain circumstances it is doubtful that this would be a requirement in the afterlife even if some marriages remained this way.

"Mormon marriages are arranged":

This is false

This is false.

Mormons choose who they are going to marry according to their own free will. Marriage is believed to be a commitment that not only affects this life, but also the next. It is not something to be considered lightly. As such it is up to each individual to pray and make wise decisions about who they are going to marry. A small group whose members were excommunicated from the church in the early 1900's currently practices arranged marriages.

"The Mormon church pressures couples to get a divorce if they cannot live up to church standards":

This is false

This is false.

The Mormon church believes that marriage is a sacred covenant between each other and God. They believe that every effort should be made to keep these covenants and preserve marriage. The LDS church does not recommend divorce. Part of the LDS churches welfare system includes LDS family services, which offers marriage counseling and other resources free of charge to members and non-members alike. They believe that the family is the most critical part of the church. Why would they fracture that into pieces even when they believe that no one is perfect? This claim originates from the God Makers which is a publication and movie that was deemed as "sensationalism" and "offensive" by the National Conference for Christians and Jews;[3] a group not affiliated with the LDS church.

"Mormons have to sever relationships with family members if they leave the church":

This is false

This is false.

The Mormon church believes that family relationships are critical. This includes members in and out of the church, and is easily verified in the LDS magazine publication. Mormons are not taught or coerced to sever relationships in or out of the church.

"The Mormon church will take away your children if you cannot live up to church standards":

This is false

This is false.

The Mormon church believes that the family is the most critical part of the church. The LDS church does not have the legal authority to separate children from their families and doing so would undermine their own beliefs. This claim originates from the God Makers which is a publication and movie that was deemed as "sensationalism" and "offensive" by the National Conference for Christians and Jews;[3] a group not affiliated with the LDS church.

"Mormon women will be eternally pregnant":

This is false

This is false. O_o Who makes this stuff up?

Mormons believe that families will continue in Heaven, but the idea that Mormon woman will be forever pregnant is completely absurd. No woman, or her husband, wants them to be eternally pregnant. Mormons do not believe this. This claim originates from the God Makers which is a publication and movie that was deemed as "sensationalism" and "offensive" by the National Conference for Christians and Jews;[3] a group not affiliated with the LDS church.

"Mormons only have sex to have children":

This is false

This is false.

Mormons believe that sex is an appropriate expression of love to share with your spouse within marriage, not just as a means to procreate.

"Mormons only help each other":

This is false

This is false.

At the end of December 2011 there were over 9000 Mormon missionaries who were working specific humanitarian missions. These are not proselyting missions, but missions to help others who were in need, the vast majority which were not Mormons. Separate from the missionary program, the Mormon Helping Hands are a group of service volunteers that are organized by local church leaders to help with community needs. According to CNN the LDS church funded a $16.4 million measles and rubella initiative that used more than 64,000 Mormon volunteers spanning 37 countries. Mormons are taught 'to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to provide for the widow, to dry up the tear of the orphan, to comfort the afflicted, whether in this church, or in any other, or in no church at all...'

References

1 -LDS owned sourceChastity, lds.org, accessed 09/06/2015

2 -LDS owned sourceChurch Discipline, mormonnewsroom.org, accessed 09/06/2015

3 -LDS author or apologistDonald Alvin Eagle, One Community‚Äôs Reaction to The God Makers, Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, pgs. 34-39, 1985, accessed 01/26/2013